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A Few Secrets You Didn’t Know About Consulting

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Consultants take their time in implementing projects.

The client went all the way to consult them, in their minds, they have a big problem and it wouldn’t be nice if a solution is quickly delivered.

Great products – at least that’s how people feel – take time to be perfected.

To make this easier, I’ll quote my manager:

“Imagine going to a 5 ⭐️ restaurant. You order a steak. 🥩 The waiter goes to the kitchen and brings out the steak immediately. 🍴 How would you feel? 🤨 You will probably assume that the steak is not great, and that the restaurant is overpriced, cause a good steak takes time to cook. 😤”

They can’t tell you which client they’re working for, but you end up knowing anyway.

Consultants: I’m sorry I can’t tell you who’s the client I’m currently working for.

Also consultants: I’m working with the world’s largest coffeehouse chain. Yeah, I’m staying in Seattle for the next two months.

Or: “I'm not allowed to tell you which client I work for, but you can see all my recent LinkedIn contacts are from one company.”

Also: “I can’t disclose the name of the company, but they are like the Amazon of China.”

Consulting is somehow like a broadway acting gig.

It needs backstage preparation and front stage performance.

However, consultants are the victim in this, they’re definitely not making an act for the sake of making an act. I’ll explain.

Clients don’t usually give direct and full information. This puts the consultant under the stress of trying to learn and deliver well at the same time, all while trying not to fail. This leads consultants to discreetly gain as much knowledge as they can about the client’s business while giving an impression of confidence and assuring the client that they know what they’re doing.

Here’s a list of some fun observations I learned online made by some management consultants:

  1. New consultants gain some pounds in the first 3 months of their work until they learn to control themselves in front of hotel buffets.

  2. You start speaking consultese : p “let's touch base later", "how's it going? - good, good".

  3. When you’ve been in the industry for a while, you start wondering what normal people do from 6pm to midnight if they’re not working!

  4. You actually reach a point where you schedule family and friends calls.

  5. When you hear “partner”, you automatically think of your boss. You only remember your significant other after a good 30 seconds.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this short story. It’s gonna tell you a lot about how some things go in firms.

“A partner in a large consulting firm and a more junior colleague decide to go on a weekend trip hunting bears. They arrive at their small log cabin set in a clearing deep in the forest. The junior consultant starts to prepare a simple meal for them in the kitchen and begins to set up the range of equipment he has brought along for the bear hunt.

The partner drops his bags and immediately disappears out the front door of the cabin; he is gone for about an hour.

Suddenly, the partner comes running at full speed out of the trees, back across clearing and straight in through the front door of the cabin, with a huge grizzly bear just a few paces behind him.

As he disappears out the back door, he yells over his shoulder at the junior: "OK, you skin this beauty, I’ll go get us another!"


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