Won’t bore you with an introduction, I know you’re very excited to know how to become the TMHP. The Team's Most Hated Person.
1. Expect others to live like you. If they don't. Mock them.
You saw Kim Kardashian became a vegan. So now you decide not only to become a vegan but to also hate everyone who eats meat. Also you want to make sure everyone in the office knows that you are vegan and that you look down on them cause they eat meat.
Okay, on a more serious note. Work wise, everyone has their style, but if you wake up at 5am and build slides till 10am, you should expect everyone to do the same on your team. Right?
2. Be selfish.
You put in the work. You did well on the presentation. You got the client. You shipped the version. It is because of you that everything is going well. AND if it is not going well, it definitely is because of George, the intern.
3. Be the “know-it-all” that we so dearly hate.
Imagine having someone on your team who knows more than you do about oil pipes... Lol.
You spent 30min on google and you are an expert already, cause you are a very smart person, very few people have comparable IQs AND EQs. And now Stephanie who spent 30 years in infrastructure wants to lecture you on how set up your client's grid.
If it were up to you, you would fire Stephanie and pay yourself more.
4. Make your life motto: “Overpromise, underdeliver”.
Set short deadlines for your team to impress your client. Promise them the sun, deliver a candle, then fabricate non-existent problems to solve. Make recommendations and suggest solutions, but never own or even handle them.
Don’t be motivated to solve a client problem, it’s their problem at the end of the day. I know you’re charging them a huge fictional sum of money, but still, take your sweet time, they need you. hah.
5. Don’t mind your language.
It’s not your problem if the intern doesn’t know what boiling the ocean or what CAGR means.
Ah also, bad-mouth anyone who is not present. Be it a coworker or a competitor.
This is how you become the The Most Hated Person at work.